By: Amy Dalke
I know a little bit about insecurity.
Actually, that’s an understatement because if there was such thing as an Insecurity Expert, I’ve basically earned a Ph.D. or something.
The good news for you is, I’m real-life proof that just because you live steeped in insecurity today, does not mean you’re doomed to that life forever. Ideally I could tell you that my own path from insecurity to freedom was instantaneous.
But it wasn’t.
In fact, it’s been an ongoing growth process where those “less than” feelings have been shed layer by layer.
Maybe you don’t have a clue what I’m talking about, and that’s fantastic. However I have a sneaking suspicion that you are intimately aware of this life-stealing issue. If insecurity is your standard MO, then the following experiences may be familiar:
–Insecurity walks into a room, and a familiar wave of “not belonging” begins to fill up your gut.
–Insecurity reminds you that you don’t fit there.
—Insecurity convinces you that every eye is on you, deftly picking apart all your inadequate pieces.
–Insecurity whispers that you’re wrong in all the right places, like an uncomfortable waistband that squeezes around your center. (Insecurities about the central region are the real deal, mind you.) (Which is why Spanx generates billion dollars in revenue.)
—Insecurity reads between the lines of every word spoken, and hyper-focuses on how others interact with you (their tone of voice, body language, etc.). You’ll use this info later in your obsessive mental replay.
–Insecurity takes the words of others and twists them to confirm that you are wrong, good for nothing, and “less than” everyone around you.
–Insecurity tells you that you shouldn’t get involved at church since you probably don’t have anything special to offer. They seem to have it handled anyway.
–Insecurity keeps you from applying for that job you feel like you were made for…because surely someone more qualified will get the offer.
When you carry insecurity in your heart, you carry insecurity with you into every room, every situation. Is this really how Jesus people are meant to live? Didn’t Jesus say that we’re worth a whole lot? Didn’t he prove we’re worth a lot more than human opinions when he died for us? I mean, that’s kind of a big deal.
So how do we live like that’s really true?
You can’t fix insecurity with a pill, essential oils, or shopping. Not that I know anything about that. (Actually, I know far too much about it.)
Victory over insecurity requires that you have some face time with God. Because God’s view of you is reality. But if you don’t know what He says…then how can you live out the truth?
(1) Rather than nurse your irrational feelings in the face of insecurity, lean into Jesus and ask him to show you what truth looks like in your current situation.
Your freedom is inexplicably tied to knowing the TRUTH, according to John 8:32. And I’ve learned the hard way that feelings are not fantastic truth-tellers. Here’s a handful of truth to keep in your back pocket:
- You are loved and accepted by the One who matters most. (Ephesians 1:5-7, Ephesians 2:4-5).
- God gives you strength and dignity (Proverbs 31:25), therefore you are valuable and worthy of respect.
- You are God’s work of art. (Ephesians 2:10) (This is more than a Christian-y motto: it’s WHO YOU ARE.)
2) Go ahead and channel REO Speedwagon. Because you really can’t fight these feelings anymore in your own strength.
So stop trying. (I mean, hello, that hasn’t exactly worked out so well…)
When the self-obsessed drivel works up a chatter for your attention, ask God what it’s all about. He can shine light on the real source and help you deal with it in truth.
(3) Think “Drop It Like It’s Hot” when perceived slights creep into your insecurity loop. Don’t even give those thoughts a chance to make one full spin around the mental track. Because over-analysis is sort of what got you here in the first place.
It all sounds pretty easy tucked into neat bullet points, but this is one of the hardest battles I’ve ever faced. Time and time again we need to stick our nose in scripture and beg God to give us His perspective so that we don’t just fold up into our own shaky self esteem.
But watch out, world. Because when we apply God’s truth to our insecurity, we will be unstoppable. And friend, that’s exactly what God wants for you.
Will you believe it or not?
p.s. Quick before you go! Here’s proof that freedom is possible for you:
Exhibit A: Referencing REO Speedwagon does not fall into any kind of hip category. (I own my nerd-ness.)
Exhibit B: Drop It Like It’s Hot. I don’t even know, y’all. I’m blaming it on hormones or Jesus. Because seriously.