Written by: Vivian Wilson
I don’t journal every day. But during my quiet time if God puts a thought in my mind or something on my heart, I begin to write. As I do God directs my thoughts and gives me insights and understanding. Almost without exception, my entries end with prayer.
As I was writing in my journal last week, coming to the last few pages of my currant journal, God “suggested” that I read from the beginning, (May 24, 2012), and take note of my prayers.
Because I have learned not to take God’s “suggestions” lightly, I did as He said and read my journal.
You know how “they” say, (I’d like to know who “they” are), to be careful what you ask for, like patience, because you just might get it and you may not like the way God gives it to you. Well, it seems that I have consistently asked God for the same things and He is answering, for which I am grateful but not overly thrilled with his choice of methods.
Hindsight is 20/20 which is a great reason to journal. I am able to see God’s hand working in my life. I can see how He is faithfully answering my prayers.
Recently, I lost sight of who and Whose I am. This happened when I took my eyes off of Jesus and fixed them squarely on myself. I was focused on my own desires, thoughts, feelings, and on my past, and on present circumstances.
Going back through my journal has opened my eyes so that I can clearly see that my focus must always be on Jesus who paid the ultimate price for me. It is His job to fix me—it is my job to be available and willing to allow Him to do His work in me.
1Cor. 6-19-20 You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Gal.2:20 I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. 2Cor.5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!
I was amazed to see that in my prayers there were a few requests that I made many times. It was unintentional on my part to repeat the requests, they simply flowed from my heart as God directed. I’d like to share some of them with you.
1. Soften my heart. Teach me to accept your love and love others. 2. Draw me closer to You into a more intimate relationship. 3. I need You. Teach me to trust You. 4. Give me wisdom, understanding, discernment, courage and strength. 5. Teach me to be content. 6. Help me to find my everything in You, to depend on You for everything.
As I read these prayers it became so clear that God has been drawing me to Himself constantly and surely. After these last three weeks of pruning, during which God redirected my focus, I am again sure of who and Whose I am.
But the greatest thing is that I am closer to Him, that I love Him more, that I know Him better, that I trust Him more, and that my heart is “softer”, better able to receive God’s love for me, and better equipped to love others.
He isn’t finished with me yet, but I know this: I am His forever and He is mine, I am loved beyond what I can comprehend, and He is faithful to make me into the beautiful person that He created me to be, the person that He sees when He looks at me—All Because of Jesus!
I know this is dangerous, or so “they” say, but I pray even now that God will do whatever it takes to change me, to make me more like Jesus, in order that He will use my life to point others to Him for His honor and glory.
A work in progress,