By: Vivian Wilson
I feel like I owe you a report of some kind detailing my exemplary walk of faith since you are kind of my accountability group and all, just sayin. I would love to tell you that I have “aced” every test and I am now the “model” Christian that all should aspire to be. I wish. Not even close!
I feel so like Paul must have felt when he penned Romans 7:14-24; my enemy the devil does prowl around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour (1Peter 5:8).
I am pretty easy prey at times. He knows my weaknesses and just when I think I’ve learned the lessons of Trust, Surrender, and Contentment, the flaming arrows start to fly. I would like to report to you that I was winning these battles this week. But, no, I let my negative thoughts take control causing me to imagine the worst and experience the emotions that accompanied it, feelings of loss and loneliness.
But, God is still God and He loves me and holds me close. He still protects me and whispers words of help and encouragement in my heart. He whispers words like, wait on me, be grateful, humble yourself in service to someone else, lean on me and not on your own understanding.
I have been practicing the art of “waiting with expectation” for the blessings God has for me each day. By anticipating His grace gifts, I have actually noticed several that I would have missed had I not been engaged in life from God’s prospective.
This week God graced me with the opportunity to serve a friend who is in serious distress. My first reaction was, “I can’t. I don’t know how. I am way out of my league here.” I wanted to say no. But I heard the Spirit say, “this is not about you, think of her, love her”. So I went. I had everything I needed. I was equipped with God’s love for her. I had ears to listen and arms to hold her. I had tears to shed with her. I didn’t solve her problem, but God strengthened her through me. We were both blessed.
This week I was blessed when I was contacted by two friends, both of whom I haven’t seen in over two years. I will have dinner with each of them in the next couple of weeks. Through them I am reminded how priceless it is to have friendships that stand the test of time and I am very grateful.
Yes, I have blown it many times in my walk of faith, yet I know that nothing can separate me from God’s great love. As Paul finishes writing about his frustration over what he does and doesn’t do in Romans, chapter eight, he exclaims in triumph, JESUS IS THE ANSWER! I know that God is good and He is faithful to complete the work he began in me. Philippians 1:6
This my friends is real life. It is not perfect. I am not perfect. There is failure and there is success, neither of which affects the perfect love God has for me. No matter what trials I face, no matter how big they seem, scripture calls them light and momentary in light of the eternal glory of heaven which is my home. I am committed to walk with God, trusting Him to change me and to use me when and how He will. I will fail at times, but I know that I am forgiven. When I acknowledge my sin before Him I am forgiven and nothing stands in the way of the intimate relationship we share.
Thanks be to God! Who is not finished with me yet.
A work in progress,