The God of Green Hope

By: Ms. O

Years ago I was given a bike for Christmas. It is not one of those stream lined styles. No “gears”…it merely went forward. I like it when I can push my foot backward and it brakes. It had fat tires…and a fat seat…both for the same reason…I want plenty of area…..both on the pavement…and under by behind.

I used to ride my bike daily…it was refreshing.…..and freeing. I don’t know when it happened….what changed…but I hung my bike up in the garage…and never took it down.

I have had a hard spot in my soul for some time. A place that remains dark…with lights off…no sign of life. I have this fear of that room…it is most likely why I keep it locked up. Lately I have struggled with confronting what resides there…because it is easier to just not think…about it.

A very good friend texted me scripture last week…as part of her prayer for me. In my heart I know it was a message from God…sent through her, to remind me…of that place:

“Oh! May the God of green hope fill you up with joy, fill you up with peace, so that your believing lives, filled with the life-giving energy of the Holy Spirit, will brim over with hope! “ Romans 15:13 (The Message)

Hope…the one thing I keep tucked away…in a room of its own…out of sight…out of mind….at least that is what I tell myself. Hope….peace…joy…did not go together for me…for many reasons…none of which I want to go into. It is what it is…and has been.

This scripture…these relayed words from a friend…was…is…my reminder that my God is the God of “green” hope…the One who wants me to grow into the realization that He wants so much more for me…more than I can imagine…the kind of hope that strikes fear in my heart…because I don’t want to believe it….I don’t feel worthy of it.

Savannah Sparrow perched on barbed wire

Emily Dickinson says this so well for me:

“Hope” is the thing with feathers –

That perches in the soul –

And sings the tune without the words –

And never stops – at all –

I got my bike down a couple weekends ago. It took me a couple hours…and assistance from a friend…to get the tires off…replace the tubes…and air them up. I cleaned it up….oiled up the chain…so it would be ready to ride. To my dismay, I came out the next morning, one of the tires…the NEW tires mind you…were flat…again. I put my bike to the side, resigned that it was not meant to be.

Until yesterday, a week or so after my frustration and despair…I woke up…with that scripture…and that poem…stuck in my mind…so I knew…in my gut…that it was time…to try again. I purchased another new tire…and the proper tools it takes to remove said tire…again.

I got it off…put in the new tube…wrestled the bike to put the tire back on…sweating a lot more than I should have been…then made the trip to the gas station to air my tire up. I cleaned up the mess I made… put my stuff away for the evening…since it had taken a good part of the day…and I was just not ready to try it out.

This morning I got up…put on my comfy work out (I use that term loosely) clothes…and headed for the garage. I grabbed the tires to check for pressure….more like to make sure I did not make a fool of myself rolling out on flat tires…and off I went.

I had forgotten the pure joy of riding with the wind in my face…the feeling of freedom as I rode around the block…no agenda…just riding. I felt a renewal of my soul….God whispering in my ear…”Oh Linda…it’s time to open up that place in your soul and allow my light to shine in that dark. I am the God of hope…but you need to trust Me. I want the wind in your face…and your future to be a place that you look forward to. Look to me Linda…and trust…in  me.”

I don’t need to know the words…(which is really…really….hard for me). I just need the courage to sing. God has the words for me…He knows the melody in my soul. I doubt it will look like what I imagined it to be. Hope is nothing concrete….it is the soul reaching out to the Savior for direction…and assurance…of the future.

pic two

It’s time again…God’s breath swirling around me…along with the assurance that He has this covered…I just need to get on with it…and ride. Amen…and thank you, my God of green hope.

Ms. O