Endings…and beginnings

By: Ms. O

I hate endings. I really do. Okay…well not ALL endings…but a good many of them. Some are forced upon me…some just happen…some I bring upon myself.

I know that in my house, the end of certain things were timed “just so” I would find them. The end of the milk carton for instance. Seriously…which part of that 1/12 of a cup left in the bottom of that gallon jug meant it should be saved…until I pulled it out….dumped it…washed it…and took it to the recycling bin. Same goes with toilet paper. I can’t count the times that I would reach for the roll…only to find two sheets…not even enough to blow my nose with…and no new roll in sight. Come on people…if the end is in sight…can you please at least let me know…one way or another?

I totally despise that whole “all good things come to an end”. What killjoy penned that? It never fails…when I am having a great time…family…friends…gathered around…that statement rolls around in my head…and I’m thinking…oh no…how much longer can I hold on to this??

There is nothing like being on a diet that makes you never want to use the last point/calorie/portion of the day. I would get all excited about the bowl of popcorn…frozen yogurt…fat free/sugar free/taste optional pudding….and next thing I knew…the bottom was there…no food to be seen…my treat is…gone. The end of my eating is here…and the stretch of nighttime overshadows the wished upon feeling that I will be full until morning…ugh.

Christmas is over again…for another year. It’s time to take down the tree…reel in the light strands…take down the garlands and signs…wrap up the nativities, Santas and snowmen…and try to organized in how you put everything away into the tubs it was stored in…which somehow goes well until you find another decoration in say…February…and then it doesn’t matter where you stick it. The house looks naked…empty of the anticipation of the season…it is done…over….the end. It shouldn’t but it does…leave a taste of bitter in my mouth…to know…it is done.

Some of the saddest endings are when we say farewell. The times I have moved and had to say goodbye to friends…loved ones. There is such sorrow to say goodbye…knowing that the miles that separate will be like an impassible cavern. Even worse..is when we say goodbye….for good…at least in this lifetime. I remember saying goodbye to a dear friend…not long before they passed…and I thought to myself…”they will get to Heaven before me…and I hope they have the party going by the time I arrive.” That did not take away my sorrow…but it sure made the end not so…final.

I can’t say that all endings are bad. I was glad when my awkward teenage years were done…although they transitioned into my awkward adult years…there is a difference…I am sure of it. I was glad when the kids were out of diapers…and formula…and the terrible twos and tiresome threes. When I got married, it put an end to eating cooked vegetables. My mom was not at the dinner table with me, watching to make sure I ate them. I felt guilty about it…for about a day…and then it passed by as I passed by that part of the grocery store.

Now the end of 2014 is here. This year has been a blur. How is it when the year begins, it seems like it take a full month to remember to write the correct year…but the next thing you know…we are preparing for the next?

In God’s eyes though….endings are a good thing…especially when it comes to…me.

“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by it’s deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” Ephesians 4:22-24

God gave me a choice…to put an end to my old ways…which truly did not lead to anything rich or fulfilling…and grab on to the new…His new. I needed to put an end to “self”…and instead focus on being with “Him”…each and every day. I know if I had stayed in my former mind set…my life would be nothing like it is now. God not only gave me the stopping point….but also gave me the beginning…that has not end. I think that is the best never ending promise around. Good bye 2014…hello 2015…I’m listening God…what have you got planned for me….amen.