Expecting the Unknown

By Ms. O

Have you ever had this expectant certainty about something that you did not have total clarity about? I am not trying to mess with your mind…or make a play on words to confuse you…but I promise this makes total sense….at least to me. There are many times we don’t have to all the details…. to know that what is coming…. is going to be great.

I love mincemeat pie…have since I was a child. I knew that come Thanksgiving…and Christmas…it would get served up. Most of my siblings would turn their nose up at it…not me. One whiff…and I knew…my heart rejoiced. I did not want to know “why” they called it mincemeat…but even after I found it…it truly did not matter. Just the aroma would send delight to my taste buds…because I knew…with all certainty…..it was going to be great.

When I had my first child…a boy…I had no clue what I was doing. Two days in the hospital apparently qualifies you to take home a human being…go figure. I remember so many nights gazing into his eyes as I tried to rock him to sleep….’try’ being the operative word since he did not sleep. As I looked at him, I would feel a welling up in my spirit…of what was to come. The dreams of a future…..our lives intertwined. When I had my daughter…I naively believed it would be no different…but looking at her as she slept…yes she LOVED to sleep…my expectancy would be so different. This would be my little girl…someone that would intertwine my heart alongside her brother. With both of them was the same excitement…of what was to come. I could not have even guessed at how it would be…only of what I had imagined…that of course fell short…but I knew for sure that what was coming….was going to be great.

This coming week I have a houseful of company coming in to celebrate a day dedicated to giving thanks. I can tell you….the excitement is building…more so with each day. I have a very blurry lay out of where everyone will sleep…shower…what…and where… we will eat. I think those are the details have to be worked out. What I cannot describe adequately is what will happen during this time…I only know my soul longs for it. It is a time to rehash old stories…the ones we tell over and over again…and add in the new ones. It is a sharing of that seed of joy that God planted in each of our hearts…that is nourished and grows as we spend time together. Details…I can’t let that bog me down or overwhelm me…what I know is it is ….it’s going to be great.

As we come into the Advent season I think of Mary…when God spoke to her…and told her about the impending birth….her bearing the Christ child. She had no clue what was ahead…she only had sketchy details…a little this…a lot of that…but the rest would be trusting in God and knowing that He has this handled.

“I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May it be as you have said.” Then the angel left her. Luke 1:38

I truly believe that Mary trusted God…in a nervous sort of okay I’ll go with it trust…because she knew deep in her heart that it was going to be more than fine…it was going to be great.

In my own nervousness…of my not so well planned life…not being able to control all things…which has the great possibility of making me nuts…I need to take a page from Mary. Sure, state the obvious “flaws” in the plan…she sure did…and I do that…a lot. But my follow up is what I need to work on. I need to kneel down…give up the desire to stand up on my own…and realize that God’s greatness is within reach. That certainty that I have….God’s faithfulness…which gives me that flutterly feeling in my stomach…and gives me the confidence to say….’may it be as you have said’…and take it in….cause it’s going to be better than I could ever imagine…it is going to be…great. Give thanks…and amen.

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