Be still and know

By: Ms. O

Be still….and know I am God. Psalm 46:10

That truly should be a verse of comfort and peace….but right now it makes my heart hurt. I have read it many…..many….. times but I heard it in a new way last week that has made me take a hard look in the mirror. If you translate the word “still” from it’s original text…it means stop…STOP. The word “know” translates to “ADMIT”….oh my.

Visions come racing at me…and I grimace.  STOP and ADMIT I am God…..

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I look back at a childhood of RACING ahead…trying to stay paces ahead of my worry. If I don’t think of the consequences…then surely it won’t affect me. Stay in motion..…just keep swimming…swimming….swimming (me and Dory, both)…but that just doesn’t work. I can see clearly so many times in my life…when God offered me opportunities to STOP…and ADMIT that His path was the better plan…but I chose….mine…instead.

When I got married at such a ridiculously young age…I had no idea what that would mean…two “kids” getting married. I had visions of “being on my own”…”all grown up”…until reality set in. What is crazy is God placed many people in my young married life….perhaps so I would see Him…so that I would STOP …and ADMIT His providence…but I was stubborn by that point…head-strong bent on making “this” work.

Having children meant I did not have time to slow down…much less stop. I had babies to feed…diapers to change….meals to prepare. I poured myself in teaching my kids to walk…read…ride their two wheeled bikes…do their homework….volunteering as room mom….PTA….the list goes on. In all my ‘busyness”…I did not realize that God was in ALL of those things…waiting for me to STOP and ADMIT to His omnipresence in those precious moments…that pass by way too quickly.

Even when I began my relationship with God…when it became a part of my fiber to welcome God into my soul…I still felt as if I was trying to “outrun” Him. If I do a lot of good…then surely He will be pleased with me…will overlook the havoc I wreck along the way. If I pour my attention into serving Him…then I won’t have the time to take a long hard look at myself and actually “see” Him.

Last week as I sat in that auditorium alongside about 1500 other youth directors/workers/volunteers, I felt as if the words were being spoken to me…and only me…from God…through our speaker. I felt Him leaning into me…asking me…”Aren’t you tired, Linda…of all the running? Can you please STOP…and ADMIT that I am Sovereign over your life? Are you ready to rest in Me yet?”

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So as I wipe away the tears that pool in my eyes…take a deep breath…I muster up the courage to…STOP…and ADMIT…that life has to change. You alone God…are my all in all…my be all…my want all…my beginning (way before I ever acknowledged it)…and my end. I will be still…and know you are God…amen.

Ms. O