I had a plan. I thought it was a great plan! I rented a condo for a week. My sister and a couple of friends planned to drive 16 hours to Florida for fun, fellowship, and a bucket, no, a pail full of laughter. As the week to leave neared, one by one, each had to cancel. (All for good reason, they really do love me.)
So I decided to make the trip by myself. I left on Friday, and spent 8 hours lamenting the fact that I was going by myself, wishing things were different. My “pity party” was feudal, and a total waste of time and energy.
Saturday morning, I got up and ran my scheduled 6 miles through the quaint and beautiful little town of Fairhope, Alabama. I decided that 8 hours in the car would be spent with my mind fixed on things above, praising and worshiping God.
At 7:00 P.M. Saturday, I arrived at my “tropical paradise”, my home away from home for a week of bliss.
Disappointment is what one feels when expectations are not met. To say I was disappointed would be a colossal understatement!
I expected a room with a balcony, (because I asked for it), overlooking the beach. I had no balcony and a view of the boulevard. I expected to hear the sound of the surf. I got the sound of traffic. I expected a washer/dryer in my condo. (There was supposed to be one). I expected to find a hairdryer in the bathroom. (I got one from the front desk). I expected a little more room in which to walk around. OK. How much room does one person need? (Thank goodness there is only one person). You get the picture.
I expected all of this because it has been my past experience to have enjoyed these things.
I didn’t even unpack. In fact, as I write this on Monday, I am still pretty much packed. I was ready to drive home. I called RCI and they graciously gave me until tomorrow at noon to decide whether I stay or go. I can check out, and my reservation will be treated as if it had never been booked.
After talking to the nice RCI lady on Sunday morning, I went for a walk on the beach. Through tears of sadness, loneliness, disappointment, and self-pity, I heard the still small voice of my Heavenly Father.
He said simply, “Wait”.
I came here with an agenda. I had a plan to write, read and study. But God’s agenda is for me to wait, to cease striving, Martha, I mean Vivian. He wants me to sit at His feet and listen, to do the best thing. He brought me to a place I would not have chosen. (But I did actually choose it). He brought me to a place where I am uncomfortable. To a place where I am alone, except for Him!
What was the first thing I wanted to do? RUN! Run back to the place of comfort and safety. A place where I can be with family and friends, people who love me. A place where I am busy doing “stuff”. A place where every day life is a distraction.
But as I walked along the sandy shore, I thought, “What if I miss out on a great blessing that God has planned for me? Here. Now. Missed…because I chose to run away.
God graciously removed every distraction so that I will be able to hear Him and feel His presence and great love for me.
So this morning I say, “Thank you, Father, for this great gift.”
I wait, expecting God to have His way in me, not my plan, but His.
All praise and honor to God!
PS. I’m sitting in the lobby writing this because Wifi only works here, not in my room. (I am so spoiled!)