Do you really know who you are?

Written by: Amy Dalke

So, you know how I typically write to you on Monday’s, right?

Well, I’m still writing today, but today is a bit different. (And no, not different like I’m introducing a new blog series on How to Improve Your Domestic Skills.) (We all know what false teaching that would be, coming from me.)

So I hope you’ll read all the way to the bottom today, because that’s where you’ll find the different part.

And without explicitly saying that I’m begging for your input, I really am. Begging for your input.

I’ve been thinking and reading and studying a lot lately…about the believer’s identity in Christ. And I’m convinced that, if we could just dip into the truth of our identity in Christ…even just knee deep…we would be completely different people.

People who are truly free. People who are content. People who have joy…because we know we have enough. People who know we are enough…just like we are right now.

A lot of this recent study of mine has been on Ephesians chapter one, and it’s blown the doors off my mind. Like, it’s pretty much ripped back a layer of lies that have kept me circling in my own mental state of lack. I used to skim through verses 1-14, thinking, “Yes. I know, I know. I’ve been blessed with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ. I get that. I have an inheritance in Christ. Yes, I get that, too.”

But you know what?

I must not have really gotten it the first twelve or twenty times.

How do I know that?

Because I get all tangled up in the identity the world values. Some days, I don’t even make it to my closet in the morning before I have at least one thought about how I don’t measure up to certain “standards”.

And I’m that girl who tends to hang her identity on everything the world has to offer: appearance, performance (parenthood, home-making, career), financial/material possessions, you name it. It’s as though I measure – subconsciously or consciously – my personal value against the world’s bar in one (or all) of those areas.

I dare say that at one point or another, I have derived my self worth from something outside of myself…outside of God’s intent for me as His child.  

I’m wondering if you do, too.

Who are you_Blog Pic

The world around us persistently reminds us that we can be okay with ourselves…

…once we look good enough.

…or once we have our retirement set.

…or once we tuck away enough in the kids’ college funds.

We can be content once we achieve that much anticipated promotion.

…once we can finally afford that house.

…once we get our kids through the teenage years unscathed.

…or once we lose these last fifteen pounds.

But, the truth isas children of God, our worth is not measured by the world’s so-called measuring sticks!

This truth has hit me on so many levels, that all I can think about these days is wanting to write about it, and teach it, and pass it along to every one I know…so that together, we can learn to live free from those yardsticks by which we wrongly measure our self-worth.

Here’s where the “begging for your input” comes in:

Would you say you struggle with the “identity/self-worth” issue?

Is it a real battle for you…to the extent that you would read a book that helps you better understand who you really are in Christ? Would you want to see how your identity in Him frees you from the value measurements of the world? (I’m not asking you to buy a book…God knows I haven’t written one…I’m just curious to know if you would find a book on this topic helpful.) (That’s all.)

If you do struggle with understanding and/or living out of your identity in Christ, versus weighing yourself according to the world’s measurements, can you tie your struggle to one particular area? (Or are you a messy case like me…and could check the boxes on all of them?)

Here’s a few examples of where one might look for self-worth:

  • performance (academic, career, athletic, or parenting)
  • appearance
  • possessions (financial or material resources)
  • approval and/or opinions of others

If your area isn’t reflected here, that’s totally okay. Please, talk to me anyway.

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Guy readers: feel free to email your comment privately to Pastor Ben at (Since I know it’s way cooler for you to share these things with your own kind.)

Thanks, everyone! Your thoughts, opinions, etc, are ultra-valuable to me. (And that’s real, not fake-like gratitude!)




8 thoughts on “Do you really know who you are?

  1. Thank you — you nailed this! This is the most essential truth for Christians to build their lives upon. In the passage you referenced it says “in Him” or “in Christ” or “in the Beloved” no less than 11 times.

    Who I am IN CHRIST is all that matters, because HE is all that matters! The whole purpose of God is wrapped up in Him bringing many sons and daughters to glory. Thus, while I remain IN this world, my biggest job is to remember and act upon the truth that I am always IN Christ, and will be forever more.

  2. Amy – what a much needed topic!!! I see so many teens and adults out there struggling with this. Not only would I read a book on this, i would probably try to find a way to get others to also. I am someone who struggles with trying to obtain the approval of others. I sometime think I do it consciously and other times subconsciously. I often think if i could just do this better, or if I could just be this…. then they’d approve. Or here’s a HUGE one for me; if i could just do all these things (at the same time) then everyone I am trying to please will be happy. Thing is…I’m never really happy that way and I’m thinking noone else is happy with me that way either. Thanks for the much needed post!! Love ya lady!! ❤

  3. Yes, Amy, I also believe this is a much needed topic to be addressed and I would be very interested in a book about this (especially one written in your prose and transparency!) I have always struggled with my identity in Christ compared to the rest of the world. Thinking about this a lot myself recently…

  4. Yes, Amy, I would read a book about this. I have been in the prison of trying to be or do things in order to measure up; all to overcome the feeling that I didn’t measure up or wasn’t good enough. But to God’s glory I am mostly out of jail now. I say mostly because there are times, though they are rarer now, that I fall back. For me, and it is simple really, here is the key to my growth. I had the knowledge of who I am in Christ, and I believed it intellectually. But as I began to believe it in my heart, I began to change, I gained confidence. God offers us this freedom–but I had to receive it by choice. It takes practice, it didn’t happen over night, but God is faithful. He came to set us free.

  5. Thanks everyone for sharing your input. Dear Suburban Stitcher, I love you.
    And Meredith, for real, your kind words mean a ton to me.
    Vivian, you’re so spot ON! The key to our growth is knowing who we are. Because if we don’t understand what we possess through our identity with Christ- we will never live to our full capacity. I’m praying that God will open up our eyes to truly grasp the power behind who we are, and what we have in Him…for Him.

  6. Oh Amy, I love this!! This has been a struggle for me forever!! But I’m grateful for all God has taught me! Two years ago I actually went to She Speaks with a proposal titled, “Who Am I? – Seeking God’s Answer to an Age-Old Question.” The idea was liked, but the book wasn’t picked up. It’s still on my heart and I have pages of study and stories…I think God is asking me to write this because I need to read it!! I will be praying for you as you journey on!!! You are going to SS this year right?? Let me know how I can pray and I will!!! Blessings to you!! Can’t believe 5 years have passed since we were roomies!!

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