Pressed, but not crushed

Written by: Ms. O

You know that feeling you get…a wave a panic comes over you….reality hits you square between the eyes? My prime example…which may not pertain to a lot of you….but it is hard core truth for me.

As I drove on one of Houston illustrious freeways…always known for the congestion and high/low rate of speed…as in speed up…slam on the brakes…I went into that “Final Destination” mode.

If you have never seen that movie before…or part 2, 3 or 4….possibly 5 (did not watch past 2)….. the premise of the movie is cheating death. The main character “sees” what happens before it does….the tragedy that is right before them…and avoids it.

Back to the freeway…Houston’s own version of “what could happen”. As I drove on the heavily packed concrete path…a lump rose in my throat as the enormity of the situation caught up with me…the horrific possibilities of these two ton machines driving recklessly trying to get from point A to point B….C….and D….and I start to wonder if I will make it home with my car…and nerves…intact.

The only way I saved my sanity is to mark my path….made it past El Dorado exit…hey, Doug used to live off that. I see the ice rink I went to watch a couple of my youth play hockey once. Beltway 8…it’s gotta be less packed…or slower paced…not…but made it that far. Merged to 59…always a heavy time of prayer…merge…merge…MERGE!!! Exit off…to lesser traveled roads…and hope that everyone is as cautious as me…until I pull into my driveway…and am home…exhausted…from an hour and forty-five minute drive.

The reason this all hit so hard for me the other day was that I see summer the same way. It is PACKED…as in week to week to week up to my creased forehead full of activity. I feel the pressure building…the things that need to be done…the pushing in from all sides. I find myself waking up in the morning….feeling like I am on I45….rush hour time….and I should not have eaten those seasoned treasure before I left because it is rising up and residing in the middle of my throat.

It is at those insane moments…that I have to go to my buddy Paul….my go to guy…

So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.”  Hebrews 10:35-36

When the summer unfolds in front of me, I lose all confidence in what I am called to do….I sense immanent danger ahead…and no ability to get through it.  Wave upon wave rolls over me and I feel like I won’t make it…too much pressing in and over me….HELP ME JESUS!!!!

It is these times that I remind myself….Jesus gives me markers…He had brought me this far….never alone. I feel Him leaning in…steadying my fears…telling me….

“look….we have done this before…it was just last year you had these same feelings…did I leave you?…no! We got through it…together…and we will again. Mark the path ahead…event by event…and before you know it, you will get your bearings…and together we will have worked with My youth…that I have entrusted with you.”

If I try to take in the whole picture, I won’t make it. I truly believe God puts some blinders on me so I focus on exactly what I need to…gain the confidence He has in me…so I can push on to the next event…and next…and next.  But not just push through…instead pause…take it in…enjoy this time…and know that it has been part of his grand plan…that He lets me participate in.

Summer is here people….so I am taking a deep breath…and looking for my first mission trip of the season…knowing that God already has His sleeves rolled up waiting for me to focus….focus…focus…no time for squirrels…amen…

Ms. O