For the Not-So-Perfect Mothers…

Written by: Amy Dalke

There is no such thing as a perfect mother.

Which is such a comforting statement because I am obviously not.

Tired Housewife Cleanning House With Children

Case in point: I pack fruit roll-ups in Luke’s lunchbox. Because in the Dalke household, they are considered part of the fruit group.

l should also tell you that the drive-thru at McDonalds is relatively standard fare for Luke Dalke. (Especially on those No-Time-to-Cook days.)

Nevertheless, I applaud those of you who feed your families with produce grown in your own garden. But for us, well, any dinner that I don’t cook is considered a gift from God.

Mom Fail #342: sometimes we don’t get Luke to bed before 9:30pm. (Because we consider Thunder basketball more important than an eight year old’s daily sleep requirements.) (Especially during the playoffs.)

And…truth be told, I may or may not have once (twice?) said to my child, “For crying out loud, if you do that again, I might beat the blankety-blank snot out of your rear-end.” (I am kind of sorry if that is offensive to you. I really am. But bold-faced honesty isn’t always pretty.) (However, I swear I don’t actually beat my child, even if I may want to at times.)

Although we try so hard to Have-It-All-Together, every single one of us has fallen short of the quintessential bar of motherhood perfection.

I’m pretty sure we have all given our children something to talk about in a future therapy session.

Because moms are human. And being a mother doesn’t always look like this:

Happy Mother And Baby Laying On Meadow

We yell over spilled milk. Nag about messy rooms. Fret over broken bones, broken dreams, and bad grades.

And as long as this earth exists, there will be mishaps, meltdowns, and messed up moms.

Somehow I had a crazy notion that motherhood would fix me. I convinced myself that bringing a child into this world would meet all my needs and solve all my problems.

(You know, because motherhood would be all pony rides, ballgames, and unspoiled picnics at the park.)

That motherhood bliss was proven delusional when Luke cried twelve hours a day for the first two months of his life. (Thank God for my mother-in-law, who brought me down from a ledge or two during these early days.)

And my Perfect Mom-Perfect Kid ideals were shattered again when he discovered the art of defiance. (I thought only kids with poorly skilled parents did that.) (Oh, bless my ignorant heart.)

My visions of grandeur were also smashed when I realized moms of three-year olds have to stay with their child at toddler birthday parties. (For shame. I really am that mom. I would buy your kid two presents if it meant I could go get a pedicure instead.)

I’m fairly certain there will be moments when being a mother will be the most crushing, heart-rending role to hold. You may have already been through some of those.

There will be more times that we fail. More times when we just can’t take it anymore.

There will be more laundry to wash, more attitudes to confront, more playground squabbles, and more heartaches.

Whether you are a mom-to-be, a mom who still finds crayon on her walls, a mom who is facing her child’s senior year, a mom whose kids are all grown up, or a woman who desperately wants to be a mom….please hear this:

There will be days when you are a motherhood rockstar.

And there will be days when a root canal seems the easier choice.

There will be times your kids break your heart. And times where they are the ones who mend it.

You’ll have days when your heart is overwhelmed with love for your children.

And days you just blame their father for their undesirable behavior.

But it all boils down to this: There is redemption for imperfect mothers.

Because every single one of us has issues, and baggage, and parts of us that need to be made whole.

And it’s okay.

Because tomorrow is a new day, and right now is a brand new moment. And Jesus is a Savior.

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (and of motherhood).” Romans 3:23

All of us have failed at perfection. But the good news is:

The Lord is forgiving and good, abounding in love (to every mother) who calls on Him.” Psalms 86:45

So give yourself a break. You are not alone in your failure to be Perfect Mom.

And when it all comes down to it…the best mother a child can have is one who loves Jesus. (and that’s not just my church answer.)

Happy early Mother’s Day!

Amy

p.s. and if you ever feel prone to swap Mom Fail stories, call me. Because hearing mine might make you feel better…

2 thoughts on “For the Not-So-Perfect Mothers…

  1. So, Amy, this is my favorite post of yours I’ve read so far. And maybe it’s just because it’s exactly what I needed to hear today. Because I failed this morning. In a big way. My son wouldn’t look at me or tell me bye at pre-school because we had a bad moment before we left the house. Well, I had a bad moment. And I stopped the car to apologize, but he wouldn’t have any of it. And I’m reminded now that there is grace for this and for every other time I have and will mess up. And yep, I’m sure my kids will have plenty of moments that could send them to the psych’s couch one day, but I pray God will cover that, too. Praise God there is redemption for imperfect mothers. And I thank God for you reminding me today. xoxo, Meredith

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