Written by: Vivian Wilson
There are moments in our spiritual lives that are marked as turning points. They are significant in our journey toward becoming mature believers in Christ. Often they are not recognized at the time for the valuable influence they have in moving us from brokenness to wholeness.
As I was reading my journal entries from August 2011 to August 2012, I was reminded of that time.
I had little to say to God; I abandoned the church; and I entertained self-pity and resentment. I was discontent.
It didn’t happen over night, but gradually I drifted away. I, like the prodigal son, left the comforts of home, and went to a far away place. I was withdrawn and unhappy with life.
At that moment, by His grace, God brought back into my life a sweet sister in Christ, who encouraged me to go home, to spend time with my Father every morning, as I had been accustomed to doing for so many years.
I didn’t realize it at the time, but that was the beginning of a new work in me.
Like the prodigal son, I was welcomed home with open arms. Three days later, God gave me a “taste” of his love. I prayed that He would draw me to to Himself and love me in such a way that I would experience His presence in the depth of my being. Five minutes later, as I was making coffee for my dad, I experienced an overwhelming sense of God’s presence in the depth of my heart. There was a feeling in my heart that I can say could only have been caused by God’s embrace. I shed unexpected tears of joy because of his extraordinary grace and love for me. I had “felt” God’s presence before, but not like this. It was significant because for most of my life, feelings were buried deep. I operated on an intellectual level.
Even after the “taste” of God’s love, I continued to relate in my intellect during my time with Him. Life was full of trials and circumstances that tested my faith and my trust.
It was while vacationing in Destin, Florida with my sons and their families, that God gave me understanding.
It was on a balcony overlooking the gulf. As I listened to the in coming waves under a cloudy sky, I faced what I know now was a crossroads, a turning point in my relationship with God and with others. As I sat alone, feeling empty, tears flowing, I thought how I was away from home, responsibilities of caring for my parents, everything. Then I realized God had gotten me away from everything and everyone but myself.
I found myself face to face with myself. That is when He whispered to me, “am I not enough for you?” It was then that I realized that I had been focused on the activity of meeting with God, but I had forgotten about the relationship part.
He wants me to love him with all that I am. He created me to have a relationship with him.
So I have been on this amazing journey with Him as He has opened my heart to His love in me which I am to share with everyone.
God did not limit the capacity of the human heart to experience his love and to share it. The more we are filled, the more it spills into the lives of others.
1John 4:11-12 says, “Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.”
A balcony overlooking the gulf in Destin, Florida will always be a treasured memory, because it was at that place that I knew that God was enough for me. He loves me and I love Him. It was there that I began to truly open up my heart.
It is good to remember and give thanks.
Is there a place or a time that you remember meeting God face to face?
Will you remember and give thanks?
Love in Christ,