Written by: Vivian Wilson
Early this week I worked through another “practice” opportunity for my course in SURRENDER 101.
I was feeling sort of melancholy, but I really didn’t know why. So I asked God to give me some insight. He helped me realize that in my subconscious, I was anxious about some things. These were things that for the most part, I had no control over. Isn’t that usually the way it is?
Usually, I stubbornly press on in my futile attempt to take care of these situations on my own.
But it helps to know what God is focusing on with me, (He is teaching me to surrender my will), because I knew fairly quickly that the solution for my not-so-happy feelings was to stop worrying and let God have it.
Allow me to share with you what I wrote in my journal.
Father, I give these concerns to you. I trust you to lead me, to give me the wisdom and grace I need moment by moment, and I surrender my life to your will. You are more than able to take care of all my concerns, doing what is best for me. Ps. 27:13-14 says, “I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD”. Waiting is hard. But in the waiting is the opportunity to surrender my will to God’s will. It is an opportunity to trust and to rest in Him. It is also an opportunity to experience joy and peace. I am confident that the Sovereign God, King of Kings and Lord of Lords is able to take care of me. I am also confident that because of His immeasurable love for me, and His goodness, that the waiting will be worth it. Father, help me in my weakness to be strong in You. Pour out your grace to me this day, the perfect grace that I need. There is hope knowing that I will see your goodness; and with that, the expectation of blessings that You have prepared especially for me. Thank you, Father. In Jesus’ Name
After praying that prayer, my sadness was replaced with joy and hope.
I learned something else about myself. I learned that I can be worrying without really being consciously aware in my mind that something is bothering me. Anxiety will manifest itself in some way, and it won’t be positive.
Phil. 4:6-7 says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Still a work in progress, Vivian